After thinkin’ some more about personal change, motivation, climbing and life in general. I’m pretty happy with who I am and where I’ve come from. Arkansas kid got married, got outta town, moved west, and is learning to life freely. I think my lack of internal motivation is just a convenient way to say that sometimes its just easier for me to be lazy. I am plenty motivated for somethings, but not most. The last few climbs that I’ve done have been different for me in that they’ve been at my mental limit even though they’ve been 5.7 and 5.8’s. But today climbing with Polly it was a lot easier to enjoy committing to the moves above gear and for the first time letting go of the paralying fear and just figuring things out. I think getting things done, getting in better shape will be similar, letting go of wanting to be lazy and comfortable and getting things in order so I have the time to do the things I am motivated to do.